CHristina: [00:00:00] Welcome to the taking the lead podcast where we empower people to be unstoppable. I'm Christina ner with my co-host Leslie Hoskins in Timothy Kuo.
Leslie: And we are so excited cuz we're in studio today.
Timothy: Yeah. Hello everybody on Timothy
on
CHristina: location. Yeah. He's with us right next to us in the flesh.
Leslie: We are so excited that he is here and we're gonna have a lot of fun chatting, uh, with him and our special guests.
But first we have so many exciting things to talk about. not only is Timothy here in studio, but Christina, this time has some exciting news to share. Oh yes. Anything about your personal life? Oh yeah. Do you wanna share with the crowd? So
CHristina: they have been dying for me to talk about this since it happened. I am not single anymore.
what? Now? Wait a minute.
Timothy: I'm not married. Oh, well now you just scared me cause I, what did
CHristina: I miss? I just eloped in Vegas. I'm just kidding. I did not. I have a boyfriend, Leslie used to love hearing about all my dating, my love [00:01:00] life.
Leslie: You know, I've gotten a little boring. Yeah. Since he's came into your life, if this was a
CHristina: dating podcast, Leslie would've loved it.
Um, but yes, I. Officially off the market at the
Leslie: moment. And we're so happy cuz you are happy. We can definitely tell that you are happy. Yes, he is very
CHristina: sweet. He asked me to be his girlfriend by bringing a dozen roses to my house. Oh.
Leslie: So it was very sweet. Nice. Oh goodness. And
CHristina: he listens to this podcast and doesn't know that I'm
Leslie: saying this, so oh my gosh.
Can we give him like a code name or anything or you his real name? You can say his name. Oh's a little it's Johnny exciting. All right, Johnny. Hi Johnny. Hello Johnny.
Timothy: I'll be watching you from a distance. I can always come up
CHristina: here. Yeah, there's a lot of people that when.
Leslie: Big things this summer. Gosh, summer 20.
I turned too.
CHristina: I turned 30. I'm no longer single, like what's going on with my life.
Timothy: What's going on with your
CHristina: life, right? What's going on? [00:02:00] Leslie
Leslie: moved. Yeah. I moved Timothy is traveling, traveling all
Timothy: over the country, ready to go places and doing things and speaking engagements. It's great. It's been great.
Yeah. And
CHristina: glacier's here too. You
Leslie: forgot to, how did we forget her? I know the actual
Timothy: star of the ship.
CHristina: Yeah. She's just hanging out, having a great.
Leslie: It's been good. We're so excited. Well, thank you for sharing Christina. We do appreciate the update. It's always good to know what we're all up to and doing. And so it's been a big summer, but we are so happy that you are happy.
So again, hi Johnny. We're so excited that you're a listener. Maybe we can have him.
Timothy: We can have him on the podcast one day. Oh no,
Leslie: I'm good. I love that idea. Okay. It's the secrets out of him. Oh my goodness. No, you guys, we could do all the significant others and do like a trivia or jeopardy. Oh gosh. That would be fun.
Anyways. we're excited. We are excited. Um, but we're even more happy about today's guest cuz our guest today is incredibly [00:03:00] special because. It's Timothy's life share. It is my wife. Yes.
Timothy: Which has big news. Cuz she just retired Wednesday. So that's another big news. Congratulations. So yes. And so I've been gone for four or five days, so I need to ask her how much have you spent on the credit card and what have you been doing?
And pick me up tomorrow, please at the airport.
CHristina: yeah, right. Well, and Timothy, you guys have been married for more than 21 years, right? Be
Timothy: 22 years next March. Oh my gosh. And she's put up with a lot of, you know, what
Leslie: but she's been
CHristina: with you throughout your whole leader, dog
Timothy: journey. Yeah. All through the journey of, well, you know, when I told her about my blindness and all that stuff and.
But she saw the degrade of my eyes and me losing my job and everything else. But we'll talk about that in a podcast. Yes. Later on. So I don't wanna spill the news. So introduce yourself, Cheryl. .
CHristina: Hey.
Timothy: Hello. Hello. How was your day so far today? Hello? How was your day so far?
Cheryl: Oh, it's good. It's good. Thank you guys [00:04:00] for having me on.
Yeah. We're
Leslie: so excited for you to be here. How funny that you are at home in, uh, Georgia and then Timothy is here with us in studio in Michigan. I think you did
Timothy: that for my
CHristina: protection because
Leslie: the podcast separate room, separate states, even yes. To get through this
CHristina: podcast. Yes. And you will know if she doesn't pick you.
Well, she'll
Timothy: pick me up cause of glacier. Oh. And she'll tell me, take Marta to get home, so, oh, okay. We'll glacier in the truck and she'll take off. Yes, for my own. It's
Cheryl: all about glacier.
CHristina: I bet. Well, I have to ask coming on 22 years together, how did you guys originally meet?
Cheryl: Well, actually we worked together in a, an optical lab.
Oh yeah. And. He didn't ask me out on the date. One of the ladies in the office did, and I'm gonna tell on him, he had a buy one, get one free ticket to six black. Yeah. I told her
Timothy: I, if you take care of [00:05:00] lunch, I will take care of our admission. Then she does not, did not know. Had to buy one. I wanted to go
Cheryl: to six flags.
Timothy: Yeah. So I got in there cheaper than the lunch. So I, you know, I'm, I'm a cheap schedule. Let's let you know,
Leslie: buy one, get one free one,
CHristina: get one free. That is the way to do it.
Leslie: Hey, so wait, you didn't ask her on the date.
Timothy: Well, they suggested a coworker. Did they? Yeah, the coworker did. I was, you know, It was a little bashful, I guess.
Mm-hmm so, you know, they kind of asked for her, so we kind of set it up and that's how we, you know, we had
Leslie: our first date and then it was just love after that. Uh
Cheryl: shit.
Timothy: It took, it took, but we, we did get married about five months afterwards. Five months. Yeah. So, um, Uh, it was, uh, it's been a whirlwind and she'll tell you that.
And, uh, she's seen the worst of me, but she sees the best of me now,
CHristina: so, oh my God. Okay. Five months to 22. That is amazing.
Leslie: That is incredible. That's like very, very
CHristina: impressive. I don't think I can deal with anyone. I'm just kidding. [00:06:00]
Leslie: oh, Johnny, Johnny. Sorry, Johnny. Johnny. It was from the last
Timothy: man that was short kidding.
Cheryl: Or Johnny,
CHristina: Johnny, this poor guy, man. I didn't warn him about this either.
Leslie: Um so how old were you guys both when you met or started dating? Let's say that.
Timothy: I'm counting toes and fingers and teeth. Uh, I would be 33
Leslie: probably at the time. Okay. And how old were you Cheryl? I'm 12
Cheryl: years older than.
Leslie: Okay. Love that.
And so then yes,
Cheryl: I'm a Cougar.
Leslie: listen. Good for you. You saw something, you wanted it, you got it. I like that. And so then at what point in your relationship did, uh, vision become a problem or were you. Struggling with your vision loss? Like how did you guys have these conversations?
Timothy: Well, I remember the time when I told her about it, mm-hmm we were, I was driving, oh gosh, believe it [00:07:00] or not.
And I, you know, yeah. I spilled the bans on her and uh, she said, well, if I known that you wouldn't have drove this as six flags, okay. I drove her vehicle and, uh, she she's known about it from day one. And, but she didn't really see the, you know, you can tell somebody something, but, you know, as, as you spend with somebody with an RP or any other disease, The progression of it.
Mm-hmm so she didn't have the hard part of it. And, you know, it could have been 20, 30, 40 years before it affected us, but it really started affecting us pretty much right off the bat.
Leslie: Okay. So Shera, what was that like, finding that out? What were your first thoughts?
Cheryl: Well, I really, I didn't really understand it because he was doing such a good job at faking it that I really didn't know how bad his vision was until.
You know, years later when it started getting worse and he finally admitted to me how bad it had gotten. Cause I couldn't tell, cause [00:08:00] you know, he wasn't, he was going on and doing everything that he'd been doing, just I could see when he would bump into things or run into things and stuff. And that's the only time I would notice.
Leslie: Yeah, so we call that passing. So that's basically, you know, kind of pretending that you are a sighted person living in a sighted world. Um, and it does, I mean, so many people can pass for so long and it's really challenging to do that and to, to hold up that, that kind of, um, image, I guess you will, it's hard to be vulnerable.
It's hard to admit that things are going wrong and that you're not seeing clearly. And so once Timothy, you kind of started really having some difficulty. Did you guys have some conversations? Like what did the future look like? Well, I think
Timothy: when I decided to retire from the optical business, that's when the reality of all this is getting ready to hit mm-hmm, like a ton of bricks and, uh, it was scary to step out of a good paying job and all of a sudden there's, there's no income on my side, but Cheryl was a good trooper.
I thank you for it. Every day that [00:09:00] she got up and went to work every day, cuz she became the breadwinner winner. And when somebody takes on that, you have to respect them for that. And you have to love 'em for that. And, and Cheryl did a good job until this past week and, uh, it was hard and uh, the anger and the hurt and you know, I've said in previous episodes of the podcast, you know, it just builds up and then you start hating life mm-hmm and uh, you feel responsible for if you haven't gone through a, uh, financial trouble.
You feel guilty, your wife's gonna work every day and you don't mm-hmm . Yeah. And you sit on, take on the couch and just take care of nothing, you know? And, and it just builds up anger and, and Cheryl will tell you that I've started getting really angry and it started affecting our marriage and stuff and our relationship.
And I, I would hate to be around me and I did not like myself anymore. Mm-hmm and you know, the thoughts of the dark places and stuff like that, which I had a lot. And, uh, everybody knows in my episode, how I found leader dog and this place saved my. Really did it really did. Yeah.
CHristina: And Cheryl, how did you guys [00:10:00] navigate that?
How did you navigate that on your end? Um, you know, trying to be there for him as he was going through all of this?
Leslie: Well, that
Cheryl: wasn't an easy navigation because we talked about it and I was like, we really need to do something before you lose your site completely. We need to figure out something. and that's when we started checking into different things that he might be able to do to help him only to find out that they were saying he was too old for any retraining or anything.
There was nothing that could be done for him. So it was, it was very hard for both of us at the time, because he was going down a, a, a dark spiraling hole. and, uh, I, I felt helpless and didn't know what to do to
Leslie: help. Yeah. I think everything you're saying is probably [00:11:00] so relatable to so many family members or friends of somebody who's losing their vision or any other type of disability when you're, we are actively searching for some help and assistance.
And then you're repeatedly told no. Um, you do feel helpless. It's a really. Difficult time. And I'm sure as a couple, it was really hard to navigate. Not only like physically losing your vision, but losing your job or stopping working,
Timothy: just the ability of driving a car, mowing my yard, being, but able to do anything.
And it's like, I told everybody, my story was nothing but loss mm-hmm . And when you just keep losing every day, every day, every day, what, what I got left. Yeah. And when you got nothing left, then why do you keep on living? Why do you keep on living? If you got nothing left, that's how I was thinking. And that's the wrong thing to do.
And, and I'm telling people out there, if you feel that way, reach out, get help. Don't let don't let that disease or that condition. I don't care what it is. Get help. Yeah. You're worth. Get fixed. Everybody has worth in this life and go out and get your help.
CHristina: Yeah. And going through that as a couple, I mean, that just shows [00:12:00] how strong of a relationship I'm sure you guys have now having worked through all of that together,
Timothy: it's been, I hope she's proud of me.
Um, she's I am she see immediately when I came home with my. I, we went to the mall that weekend. I said, you wanna see something? And she said, okay. And I was walking faster than her for the first time I release from her and she couldn't believe what I was doing. It's because of Leslie.
Leslie: Oh, I Don know Tiffany was gonna make cry.
Timothy: I was walking that mall. And I didn't and not running over, not running her, stepping on her feet anymore. Now she does side a guide when we go into restaurants cause it's a tighter fit, but I was on my own. Other than that, it's cuz of Leslie and her training.
Leslie: Timothy,
CHristina: you are making Leslie cry over here.
She's not
Leslie: gonna be able to get through the re I just told you, I already tried this morning. I've got too many feelings this week. . Yeah. So that's, that's exactly why we do what we do. And I think any instructor, um, whether [00:13:00] at leader, dog, or not, whether they're a guide dog, mobility instructor or ONM specialist, um, everything we do is for that, for you having independence for you going home and feeling like you can go anywhere with confidence and not even by yourself, but with your wife, that relationship is so important.
And if we helped in any, any way, then it was job well done on our end. And we're so proud of you. Yes. And, um, uh, sorry. I'm a little, but Cheryl, I wanna hear what was that like for you? So Timothy comes back from leader dog the first time. Um, and he's so proud to show off his skills. What was that like for you?
How did you feel in those moments?
Cheryl: I was kinda, uh, getting, I was as excited for him as he was. I didn't really know how to. Since I wasn't his guide dog anymore. it, it gave me a lot of freedom and I could just see that it was like he had a light shining in him that I hadn't seen in a while. [00:14:00] And I was so excited and so thankful for leader dog, for giving back to.
Leslie: Well, and I wanna go
CHristina: back a little bit. Um, you know, when Timothy first found out about leader, dog and flying from Georgia to Michigan by himself, what was that feeling like for you? The original. Okay. He's gonna go to this campus in Michigan, um, and stay for a week in the cold weather compared to where you guys live well.
What was that feeling like for you of sending him on the plane to come.
Cheryl: I was scared to death. I didn't know how he was gonna do it without me, but knowing how Timothy is, I knew he would handle the situation and that he would be fine. And I expected him to do a great job, you know, with his
Leslie: training. And he did.
He worked incredibly hard that week, um, to have seen Timothy [00:15:00] on Monday when I met him too, when he left on Friday, huge confidence increase. I mean, you were walking with your shoulders back, head up. We had done a night lesson. We had had so many accomplishments throughout that week. Um, so it was super exciting to send you home knowing that your life was really just beginning in that sense of your life with vision loss, I guess we'll say it was
Timothy: like the ladies that came in last night.
I told them that when they. Because they were saying how they look down. I said, by the time you leave this week, you'd be able to look what the world looks like, cuz your cane will be your eyes and you can finally look at and see what the world looks like while you're walking. Oh,
CHristina: I love that. That's such
Cheryl: a great don't back up again.
CHristina: Yeah. So amazing. So Timothy, how long? I can't remember. Um, was it from when you went home with your cane to when you came back to get glacier?
Leslie: I
Timothy: left, uh, middle probably first of week of April. And then I put my application and I said, don't put it in for 30 days. Well, I didn't listen to that. I'm I put it in about 15 days.
So, [00:16:00] uh, I came back, I think I got a call in June and they said they had the dog from. And they said, how about to August? I said, that's fine. I'll be there. So, uh, it was just about four or five, four months. I can't count. That's a pretty quick turnaround. Yeah. It's form. But you know, They found me the right dog.
And so I guess if leader dog finds you the right dog, you know, if they find it, they're gonna bring you up here. Mm-hmm so the time can be anything. So don't go by four months could still be eight that nine months. So don't take that just cuz it happened to me. It may take a while for somebody else.
Cheryl, did you
CHristina: guys have that conversation? Um, beforehand on, you know, if a guy dog was the right thing. Ready to bring, cuz you have to bring that dog home to not only be his guide dog, but a family dog too, when glacier's not working. Uh,
Cheryl: yes we did. And I really didn't know how to act. His fear was that she would like me more than him.
that's
Timothy: usually people do so, you know,
Cheryl: and so [00:17:00] I, I wanted to stand back in the shadows and let them work, let them bond and just, you. Just watch how they, they got around together and take notes. And she's just so amazing that it was, it was a, a perfect fit leader. Dog did an absolutely good job at pairing up blazer with this family, because she loves to do everything that we do.
Timothy: Like glacier loves to go camping. We love to go camping. She's going eventually find out house like to travel on cruise ships and stuff like that. And so, uh, we're ready for it. It's another adventure for us. Another challenge. And we're, we're gonna, we're gonna pass that challenge.
Leslie: Yes. So exciting. I know.
What were some of, uh, Cheryl after Timothy glacier came home? What are some of the biggest changes that you noticed? Oh gosh,
Cheryl: Tim. He was just so [00:18:00] much happier and he just had his, uh, his whole attitude had changed and, you know, it's, don't take this the wrong way. It's all about the dog. that? Because with me it was, became all about the dog.
Oh yeah. He, you know, she's part of us, but, uh, you know, she loves to work. He know. Just getting to know her and Tim just seeing them together and what really melts my heart when we're out somewhere. And she does something, he gives her a treat and she just looks up at, at him. Like he's the only person in the world.
It just melts me.
Leslie: Aw, because are killing. Well, that's what stop. Leslie's crying over you
CHristina: again.
Timothy: What, what it is that these dogs have unconditional love. I can mess up with her one day and she forgets about it. And the next day she's. She's back in love with me again. Aww. So I mean, these dogs are a companion to go through this journey, [00:19:00] even though we have spouses, you know, mm-hmm , this dog goes everywhere.
I do where Cheryl can't go. If she's working or she's gonna be outta town or whatever that dog's gonna be with me every day and she's gonna take care of me and it's unconditional love. And that's what changes me, cuz I know that dog loves me no matter what. And I treat her like my own child mm-hmm and I love her to death.
And. I mean there's when you're taking a share. And you look out and that dog's right there when you get out every night. Yeah. She wants to be constantly around you. Yeah. Aww, always there, when I'm outside, she's looking at the window, see what I'm doing, why I'm not out there. Why are you out there by yourself?
You know, , you know, she's a dog, 80% of the time. And 20% of the time, she's a guy, dog. Everybody keeps thinking, there's a stereotype that these dogs don't get a, no, they are dogs, but they get to go everywhere. I go. Yeah. I mean, how many dogs you could go on a cruise? Not me. Not any. Service animal guide, dog mm-hmm
And so what dog would want that,
Leslie: right, [00:20:00] right. Glacier. I can, we can all confirm glacier is living a beautiful life. Oh yes. And she, and she lays here next to us. Yes. Uh, and she's done her work. She got you in the building safely and now she gets to take a little break and then she'll navigate the rest of the day
Timothy: too.
Oh, you ought see her when we do community on by church, she sits or she she's all the stuff. Oh yeah. She gets her little treat when I do my thing and she's watching and she just, I mean, they love her everywhere I go, everybody. It's all about the dog. They love my dog. Yeah. And, and what opens up is everybody asks questions when they see us walking around mm-hmm well,
Leslie: for
CHristina: me, it was really cool to see, because I've seen our clients on campus when they first are matched with their dog.
So they're very new pair, but to see you in glacier walk so seamlessly, like, like she's not even on, in your left side, like, it's just, it. Seamless.
Leslie: It's crazy. It looks really natural.
CHristina: Yeah, it's crazy. It was crazy for me to see, just because I've seen, you know, the beginning stages when I'm at work, but, um, you know, to see you guys just moving out and about the way she took you [00:21:00] up, there's like few flights of stairs.
We have to go up to get into the studio and she goes right up those stairs. I was like,
Timothy: man. And she shows me the landing and she turns and goes, shows me the next. And then we go up and go up to the next lane. I mean, she just, she's always constantly. Oh mate. She, sometimes she makes a mistake just like everybody else does.
Yeah. And we correct them. Yeah. And she learns every day. She it's, she would be learning until the day she retires, just like we all do. Yes. So there's no such thing as a perfect
Leslie: dog. Yes. Speaking of retiring, Cheryl, do you have any big plans now that you have officially retire? I
Cheryl: don't know, Kim says I have to find a job.
Timothy: I believe after three or four months that looking at me all day long, she'll say I want to get outta, do a little part-time
CHristina: job's so maybe that's gonna be the real test of your marriage. Yeah. There you
Leslie: go. Living together. Exactly. Yeah. I am curious though. Um, do you have any words of advice or any experiences that you'd like to share with, uh, other spouses out there who are maybe just [00:22:00] starting out on their journey?
Uh, living with somebody who's got a vision loss.
Cheryl: You have to have extreme patience, I would say, you know, because, uh, it, it, it's a, every, day's a different day that you go through. And I just, with me, it had to be patient and understanding and, and trying to, trying to understand what they're going through and, and you're, you are gonna feel help.
Just keep praying and hope that things will change around and they find leader dog.
CHristina: Oh, I love that. That is so great. Well, I mean, and we have to end with this question. What did you originally think when Timothy was gonna be a podcast host? I mean, he's been on campus and people are stopping him. You are married to
Leslie: being celebrity.
Yeah. just a sidekick.
Cheryl: Well, you [00:23:00] know, Tim has always said anything that he could do to give back to leader, dog, he would do. And he feels like if he can be on a podcast and help anybody out there. And he's, you know, he's doing what he wants to do and you know, neither one of us can thank leader dog and Leslie and the puppy trainers.
You know, everybody that's involved with them. We just can't. Thank you guys enough for what you've given us. Well,
Leslie: we thank you for the endless support and being so wonderful and supportive and knowing that everything ebbs and flows, right. There's and, and that's in every marriage, every relationship there's high times and there's low times.
Um, but I think you guys are obviously stronger for it and have come out ahead and I look forward to keeping in contact and maintaining our relationship. So I. And can be a part of the rest of the journey here.
CHristina: Yes. And I think anyone can, you [00:24:00] know, learn from this, learn from hearing this and your relationship and how you've navigated it.
So I think it's great. I'm learning yes. I'm always learning
Leslie: yep. Timothy last learning every
Cheryl: day. Yeah,
Leslie: absolutely.
Timothy: Uh, just, I thank her for being patient with me and sticking around with me cuz I don't think I would wanna be around me and. And there were times, there were times I, I guarantee you so, and, uh, and I appreciate being on the podcast and let you know, she had to say, Hey, yeah, go do it.
And she's always given me the good support on that and being up here this weekend and hopefully future stuff. So, uh, I thank her for that. And, uh, she believes in you. Yeah. Well, we have leader dog. We believe in leader, dog. It's all about leader. Dog leader, dog is given so much. I can never repay back the debt.
And I just want to, if I can help one person out. That that's gonna be a great feeling and I'm hope I have helped
Leslie: somebody. I think we can say with confidence, you have helped numerous people and you yourself have met [00:25:00] several clients this last weekend who have expressed gratitude. And we get emails and comments all the time about how much you've helped and, and really just letting people know that they're not alone.
That's the biggest thing you're sharing so many experiences. We're getting emails saying, oh my gosh, I did that same thing when I was going through, or I experienced the same thing. I had a woman, a client call me one day and she was just talking about her travel delays. And she was talking about relating to you at the airport and all the things and the prep work and stuff like that.
And she just wanted to call and tell me that she's been through some things similar and it was great. It was a great conversation. It was a great way to connect. Yes. I say you're definitely helping. I think
CHristina: it's so nice to hear, like for other people to know they're not.
Timothy: No, we're all in the same boat. We have a, we have a different journey to get in here, but we all have the same, you know, I did something going on with our eyes, so we all have the commonality, but a different journey, how to get here.
And then anything I can do, I wanna help
Leslie: some. Well, we're glad you're here. And Cheryl, thank you so much for joining us today and calling in you're so
Timothy: welcome. Don't forget to pick me up
Leslie: [00:26:00] tomorrow. Tony's very worried. He is gonna be stuck at the airport tomorrow.
Cheryl: I'll be there for
Leslie: it's all about the dog. Well, thank you so much. And thank you to our listeners for listening to the taking the lead podcast. I'm Leslie Haskins with host Timothy CUO and Christina Hepner. We hope you enjoyed our conversation with Cheryl and please join us next week as we continue to dive into the world of blindness.
CHristina: And if you'd like to learn more about applying a leader dog, you can head to leader, dog.org or call us at (888) 777-5332. And don't forget, you can reach us at taking the lead at leader, dog.org. With any questions or ideas, if you like today's podcast, make sure to hit subscribe and check us out wherever podcast stream.